Found footage horror: Shayna’s charming farmhouse

Comments sections are the scariest place

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Bonjour! It is I, Mata, returning with a delightful missive about ensuite devilry!

This week we have a little ‘found footage’ style tale told via customer reviews on a popular holiday-home rental website. I love toying with how any form of text can be turned to spookiness.

If you’re new here, I post new short horror stories every week, along with occasional writing-craft essays and tips. They’re often playful, experimental, and designed to make you shudder and/or smile. Subscribe so you don’t miss any!

Take a short break and enjoy this week’s story:

Shayna’s charming farmhouse

About this place

Bedroom with 1 bed, 1-2 people, whole house, central France, beautiful rural setting.

Quiet location, a 20-minute taxi from the train station. Lines directly to Paris and Lille every day. The local village has plenty of colourful characters, patisserie, chocolateries, two quaint restaurants, and a bar. Some knowledge of French recommended for village trips, but you’ll mostly be by yourself in the gorgeous rolling countryside. Come unwind in true French style!

Guest reviews

Terry from Detroit, 3 night stay

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

“Shayna left a bottle of the local wine as a welcoming gift, that was a nice touch. The farmhouse it amazing, v spacious, and absolutely as described. Good towels! You’re really in the middle of nowhere. Loved it! Loses a star because we could hear singing from the town all night, expected it to be quieter. Maybe we just were unlucky?”

Aiko from Berlin, 7 night stay

⭐⭐☆☆☆

“Just like in the pics, but something up with the drains. A weird smell came and went, like something rotten, then gone. Weird vibes, too quiet during the day, then I heard the singing at night like the other review. Looks beautiful, but bring earplugs for the night and noseplugs for the smell!”

— Response from host —

“Hi Aiko, very sorry this disturbed your stay! We’ve had a plumber flush through all the drains so no-one else should have this problem. Apologies again, please let me know if you’re in the region and I’d be happy to comp you a free weekend, Shayna”

Sheila from Derry, 4 night stay

⭐☆☆☆☆

“chills from walking trough the door. never going back. tried to cancel booking but host wouldnt do it. will complain. DONT GO THERE”

— Response from host —

“Hey Sheila, so sorry you had cold feet and had to cancel, but it was too late to rebook with another guest. Please check the terms & conditions and reconsider the one star rating!! Thanks, Shayna”

Pedro from Barcelona, 6 night stay

⭐⭐⭐☆☆

“Like I was ready for the singing, but the villagers were in the back garden on the last night? A whole bunch of them? What’s up with that? Didn’t feel safe, glad I was leaving. Shayna’s bottle of wine and the croissants were a great welcoming gift though. Good communication throughout the booking, quick responses. Pro host. Wifi was patchy at night but mostly okay.”

— Response from host —

“Hi Pedro, thanks for the feedback. I’ve asked around the village and no-one says they were out by the farmhouse any night that week. On foggy nights it’s easy to imagine seeing shapes. Sorry to hear it spooked you! If you enjoyed the rest of the stay, please consider upping the rating!!! Thanks, Shayna”

— Guest reply —

“It wasn’t foggy.”

Miroslav from Warsaw, 5 night stay

⭐☆☆☆☆

“WTF NUNS?”

— Response from host —

“Hi Miroslav, sorry, I don’t understand. What do you mean, ‘nuns’??! Thanks, Shayna”

Cornelia from Croydon, 4 night stay

⭐☆☆☆☆

“Came here expecting weird vibes… Got them. Never want to do that again. TRUST THE REIVEWS!! STAY AWAY!!! something will happen here, or something happened here… don’t know don’t care random cold draughts in closed rooms… Covers pulled off me at night… That singing? That’s chanting… CHANTING!!!!”

— Response from host —

“Could everyone stop this please? It’s not funny. This is my business. I’m a woman small business owner trying to make a living in the French countryside. I work hard to keep the farmhouse looking beautiful, welcoming, photo-ready, and relaxing for the perfect break. Stop joking around. I asked in town, and, yes, there used to be a nunnery next door. Did the villagers put you up to this? They never liked me setting up the farmhouse for guests, they said ‘du sang et des cendres dans le sol’ like it would scare me off. They just don’t want anything modern, don’t want me here, and you’re not helping, Cornelia.”

Stephen from London, 4 night stay

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

“Incredible! The wine went down smoothly, the pastries were gorgeous, and the chocolates from Shayna were the best I’ve had in years. Then, at night, we got incredible EVPs - whispers I didn’t hear until I played back the recordings. My friend speaks French and he says they aren’t in French, they’re Latin! Amazing activity, things moved, batteries drained, never been to a place like it. Only four stars because, as much fun as it was, and the evidence is incredible, it’s a bit TOO much. By the last night, I really felt like I was in danger. Hard to say how, but like my soul was worn thin? It’s a week later and I still don’t feel right. Incredible, but maybe too scary? If you’re a sceptic, you’ve got to stay here!”

— Response from host —

“lol Stephen! 🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for the review! I had to look up what ‘EVPs’ are 🤣🤣🤣”

Krystal from Madrid, 2 night stay

⭐☆☆☆☆

“Wanted to see what the hype was about. No shit, this place is the real deal. Freaky shit all night. Nun shapes outside. Knocking at my bedroom door at night, smelled like someone had shit themselves outside the door. I ended up putting a chair against it and sticking clothes around the gaps. Didn’t open it til morning. I wouldn’t go back if you paid me. This all sounds fun til it happens. No wonder the host doesn’t live-in.”

— Response from host —

“Could everyone stop this? You’ve had your fun but this has gone too far. Fine. I’ll stay there myself, then we’ll see about ‘blood and ash in the soil’ and spooky nuns. wooooooo I’m so scared. /sarcasm”

— Response from host —

“im so sorry”

— Response from host —

“sorry”

— Response from host —

“make the singing stop”

— Response from host —

“theyre in the walls doors windows floor earth”

Automatic update: Due to an unresponsive host, no further bookings are being accepted at Shayna’s charming farmhouse. Do you want to search for nearby locations?

The end

As always, if this story tickled your spooky bones, please click the ‘like’ heart at the end of this message, or share it with others. Likes make the algorithm go bing, and sharing this really helps me reach new readers — every writer wants their stories to find more willing eyeballs and brains for their scribblings, and I’m no different, so if you fancy spreading the word, that would be lovely <3

I’m writing this on Friday evening, and tomorrow there will be protests against Donald Trump’s policies all across America. If you’re joining in, please be safe, take water and sunblock, check your rights, and know the world is behind you.

Get out there, be your best selves, and be kind and spooky,

Mata

xxx

Behind the scenes extras:

I thought it might be fun to add a tiny bit of extra info about the ideas I have and the stories I write.

‘Found footage’ is usually a horror film style, but arguably…

... the epistolary style (stories told through letters) or reported narratives got there hundreds of years earlier. Frankenstein is told through a series of letters, and stands as a classic of this style.

In modern times, writing can be found everywhere, and there are a couple of great compilations of these ‘found’ texts being used to tell horror stories in recent years. I’m currently listening to ‘This Wretched Valley’ by Jenny Kiefer, which starts with a police report. This is a found text framing before the story continues, but it sets up a preview of where the horror will lead, adding intrigue and stylistic flourish to the story.

So, I wanted to go for a ‘comments section horror’ in this ‘found text’ story. I thought about creating a full fake webpage and mocking up all these reviews as if they were really on a holiday rental site, but I wanted to keep the core text on the newsletter so figured a rushed job wouldn’t add enough to the story - I might still do this at a more leisurely pace, for the fun of it!

The grammar was a challenge in this story. At first I left in natural typos (ones I made myself while typing it) to give an extra sense of veracity to the ‘comments’ style of the writing, which I think worked to some extent, but those spelling mistakes were also distracting from the tone I was building. The simpler grammatical shifts (such as not using apostrophes correctly) were less intrusive and gave the different commenters stronger individual voices, so I left those in, but I removed all the other typos. I think this works better, but it was a last minute decision (I’m typing this bit of extra info only an hour before the story goes online - not quite literally the last minute, but close!).

On the topic of high effort experiments in presentation, I’m investigating something that will really push the limits of what Substack technically lets us achieve. I’m not sure if I’ll get that done in the coming week (or even if it will work) but I hope to try it soon… but I’ll say no more than this enigmatic note!

Have a good week, and thanks again for reading!

xxx